So, that was 2018?

Lol, lets talk about how my last post was at the start of 2018…

Does that happen to anyone else? You set out your year with the intention to start something, this crazy unheard of thing that everyone actually does called a “new years resolution” (if you don’t sense the sarcasm here, please re read with a sarcastic tone), then all of a sudden it’s almost December and you’re still watching Grey’s Anatomy season 5.

My oops I skipped 2018 face.

My oops I skipped 2018 face.

My intention for 2018 was to enhance my career while also maintaining my blog, and the reality was that this didn’t happen. 2018 (I get that it isn’t over yet, but up to this point) kind of kicked my ass, in good ways and bad. Everything really seemed to be going somewhat swimmingly until a week ago when my newish job didn’t work out and suddenly everything changed, and it was a major kick to my ego.

I mean, HUGE.

Up until last week, I was kind of on auto pilot. I had changed careers leaving a place that I really loved to move into something that allowed me to fill my day with challenging work that had an amazing work/life balance (this is extremely important to me because, you know, I’m a millennial), But, when that suddenly came to a halt…it really shook me. I’d never experienced this kind of rejection in my career life so far (it really felt like getting dumped), and I really didn’t know how to handle these emotions.

I took a couple days to be sad, and then I really started to think about how I wanted to handle this situation. The truth is, this situation SUCKED. Mucho, big time. But, I also realized that this can either be a learning experience that I grow from, or something that I allow to drag me down. And I wasn’t willing to let that happen.

I was having conversation with a friend the other day about how I was in a rut and, and was feeling down on myself after this happened. I start to get stressed out towards the end of the year, questioning myself about the things I’ve accomplished in that last 300 ish days. Have I done enough? Did I improve myself enough? Did I do enough for others? Did I take the time to make my boyfriend and friends and family feel important? Did I spend enough good quality time with people? Did I improve at work? Am I happy?

Somebody sedate me.

My friend looked at me and said “Emma, that’s too much pressure to put on yourself,” and she’s completely right. If I look at what I have accomplished this year so far, in my LIFE so far, and I shouldn’t look at the fact that I didn’t go on luxurious trips or launch an empire or got let go from a job, but at the fact that at 25 years old I’ve found myself good at the work in the field that I am in, I have amazing friends and family, and I’m finally starting to find a balance of making time for myself, and the relationships in my life that are important to me. (I’m going to talk more about this in an upcoming blog). For one year, that isn’t even over yet, I’ll take it.

No it isn’t earth shattering or overly exciting, but for my mental health, tbh I’ll take it.

I guess the two points I’m getting to are:

A) Yes, 2018 has flown by insanely fast. But that’s okay! If you find yourself like me, stressing out about not accomplishing enough in a year, think about the things you DID accomplish. It doesn’t have to be launching a billion dollar lip kit line. It can be as simple as, you have maintained going to the gym three times a week, you cut a toxic relationship out of your life, or you donated clothing to a shelter or thrift shop. Take these small wins, because they’re a lot bigger then you think.

B) I’m back bitches! (For now, I mean who knows I may not post again until 2020)